For Parents – Putting God On The Guest List: How To Reclaim The Spiritual Meaning Of Your Child’s Bar Or Bat Mitzvah by Jeffrey K. Salkin
For Kids – Putting God on Your Guest List: How to Claim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah by Jeffrey K. Salkin (second edition).
Make Your Own Bar/Bat Mitzvah: A Personal Approach to Creating a Meaningful Rite of Passage, by Rabbi Goldie Milgram
Kol Haneshamah: Shabbat Vehagim (third edition), The Reconstructionist Press, 2009. (Available new/used on Amazon and other online sites – can also be borrowed from Kol Ami so long as it is not written in, and it is returned to the congregation immediately after the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service in the identical condition as when it was initially borrowed.)